Backstroke of the West: A Novelization
by Rayquaza42
Summary: When Star Wars and Chinese translations mix, they produce... interesting results. This is what the infamous Backstroke of the West would be if you tried to reimagine the story around the new lines. Rated T for the profanity and innuendo that comes out of Ratio Tile's foul mouth.
1. Chapter 1

War had come to Coruscant.

For three years now, the Gram Republic With The Space had been fighting a massive, galaxy-spanning conflict with the separatist movement known as the Abruption Doctrine. Trillions of beings had died. The Gram Republic had only managed to wage this war for two reasons. One: an army of clones grown secretly on the hidden planet of Camino. And two: the legendary order of warriors who had protected the Gram Republic for untold millennia. Every Abruption officer feared them. Every Gram citizen knew their name.

The Hopeless Situation Warriors.

But now, the skies of Coruscant were ablaze, and it seemed even the mightiest of Hopeless Situation Warriors couldn't save the Gram Republic. The Abruption Doctrine fleet of airships were attacking the Gram Republic's very capital, engaging Republic airships, and rumours were spreading on the surface. Rumours that D the Superior was missing.

D the Superior was the Speaker and the Prime Minister of the Gram Republic. He was the Republic's leader, adored by his people, and perhaps the most important person in the entire galaxy. For him to be kidnapped… it could turn the entire war against the Gram Republic.

However, though the people didn't know it, there was no reason to be afraid. High above them, streaking through space, were two tiny Republic airships. Each one containing a Hopeless Situation Warrior.

"Target, teacher!" called out Allah Gold. "Take aim at directly the machine head of that airship. Is an airship that that slowness crawl along!"

Allah's teacher, Ratio Tile, nodded. "Good. I have seen this is very easy" he said, sarcastically. Ratio had never been as comfortable behind the controls of an airship as his pupil was.

Allah Gold and Ratio Tile are two of the greatest Hopeless Situation Warriors the galaxy has ever known. Ratio Tile is the elder of the two, the experienced teacher, but his pupil is a phenomenon in his own right. Hopeless Situation prophecy suggests Allah Gold to be the chosen one, destined to bring balance to the Wish Power, the energy field surrounding all living things.

"My important Step Six" said Ratio into his speaker. Flying another airship behind him, the clone pilot Step Six responded. "Receive."

"I are above you four machine am after death at me" Ratio explained. Step Six nodded and directed the rest of the clones in his squadron forward.

"General, I now is to fights the appearance."

A large number of Abruption Doctrine airships approached the squadron of clone fighters. Allah Gold grinning in anticipation. "Game time started" he chuckled.

"Our dichotomy opens the combat" replied Ratio dryly as the airships engaged each other. The close-in dogfight was fierce, and flames began to bloom almost immediately.

"He is in my behind!" screamed a clone pilot as his airship disintegrated around him, hammered by bolts of energy from the Abruption robots.

"My distance his half kilometre!" shouted Allah, moving to turn his fighter around and head back into the fray.

"Not, let I to solve him" Ratio quickly advised. The clones were doing their job, after all, and the Hopeless Situation Warriors still had a mission to accomplish.

An Abruption robot pulled away from the main body of the fighting and loosed two missiles at the Hopeless Situation airships. Allah frowned. "Notice the guided missiles pull out high!"

"The guided missile can't beat the inside mine" Ratio replied dismissively. The missiles quickly proved him wrong, matching the manoeuvres of the Hopeless Situation airships with near perfect accuracy.

"Led to bounce back" Allah said, pointedly. Ratio rolled his eyes. Allah's robot companion, Reach the Man, an R2 unit, beeped, and Ratio grinned.

"Like, Reach the Man, good, good, good, let us counter-attacking." The robot beeped again in agreement. The missiles were closing in. Allah Gold began to spin his airship around, leading the missiles into a tight spiral. "You remain on standby!" he shouted to Ratio. "I use the backset equips!"

Ratio watched as the two missiles collided with each other, their electronic brains scrambled by the complexity of Allah's flying skills. Allah grinned as the missiles exploded. "Two fix together" he joked.

Ratio was generally okay with Allah's jokes, but now wasn't the time. "The disgusting thing came" he muttered, glancing at the approaching missiles. "True vexed."

"Is an airship robot" frowned Allah as the missiles exploded, showering Ratio's airship with a small army of specialized robots, designed to shred airships to pieces mid-flight.

"R2, you careful point-" began Ratio as the airship robots crawled towards his own R2 unit. Before he could even finish the sentence, the airship robots had ripped R2's head off its body and sent it spinning away. "God" he muttered, flinching. "Have to think that the way stops them."

"I can then the close quarters beat them" suggested Allah. Ratio shook his head. "We must fly into the enemy's commander airship finds." Allah's suggested strategy was dangerous, and they had little time to spare.

Allah ignored his teacher's directions, instead flying back and opening fire, blasting several airship robots off Ratio's airship with pinpoint accuracy. Ratio had to admit, he was impressed. "Good kind of!" Nonetheless, there was no point in his student trying to save him. D the Superior was more important. "Do not beat, you can not help me like this!"

"I agree" Allah replied immediately. "My method is not so good." Instead of abandoning his teacher, however, Allah flew his airship alongside Ratio's.

"Is really to bother" sighed Ratio as the robots continued to cut into his vessel. Then he saw what Allah was doing, and his eyes widened.

Allah swung his airship towards Ratio's, carefully controlling it so as to not knock out the airship itself, whilst crushing the airship robots under the wing. Despite his care, he still managed to give Ratio a nasty knock.

"Do you fuck on I?" the Hopeless Situation Warrior complained. Allah ignored him. "Move to the right side" he ordered.

"Not line so we to would be over!" protested Ratio. "You leave here. You can not help mine!"

"I can of, teacher" retorted Allah, swinging the airship round again. This time, he crushed almost all the remaining robots, leaving just one to take the opportunity and jump onto his wing. The robot skittered over to Reach the Man and activated its drill, advancing threateningly.

"Beat it, R2!" ordered Allah. "Carefully!" he added, as a badly-aimed blast of electricity from Reach the Man failed to damage the Abruption attacker.

"Reach the Man!" Ratio suggested. "Beat it the in-between eye!"

Reach the Man fired another shocking burst, this one catching the airship robot directly in the middle of its three eyes. The robot collapsed and slid off the airship.

"Good, you beat the inside" Allah congratulated the robot. Ratio joined in. "Good kind of, R2."

With the robots gone, the two Hopeless Situation Warriors had a clear shot on the Abruption Doctrine flagship. Allah pointed it out. "The airship of the General in place ahead."

Ratio saw it and scowled. "You have and did not notice he wanted to blockade?" Sure enough, a massive blockade of Abruption droids was in the way of the airship. Allah grimaced. "Sorry, teacher. I walk first one step."

Allah flew past the droids and fired a few bolts at the shields. The doors on the airship began to close, and the two Hopeless Situation Warriors raced towards the ship to get in before it was permanently locked.

"I feel far from good…" muttered Ratio.

The airships crashed into the deck of the larger vessel and skidded along the hanger. Ratio Tile leapt out of his before it had even stopped moving. Drawing his lightsaber, he began to slice through the robots manning the deck. Allah Gold quickly followed.

"R2! Find the Speaker!" ordered Ratio as the two Hopeless Situation Warriors continued to fight the robots.

Reach the Man plugged in to the airship's computer and summoned up a map. Before the last destroyed robot had even hit the floor, the Hopeless Situation Warriors approached to study it. Ratio pointed out the observation deck at the stern. "Speaker come out from… here of. The robot can search for with the machine" he suggested. Reach the Man beeped an affirmative.

"I think that I can then extrication he to" mused Allah. As he stood up, Ratio stopped him. "I feel this is a trap" he said.

Allah chuckled. "Remember the last time?"

Ratio nodded. The last time they'd fallen into a trap hadn't been pleasant at all. But they'd learned from that experience. "But we can will account and then account" he said.

As the two turned towards the lift, Reach the Man disengaged and turned to follow them. Allah held out a hand. "R2, come back. I need you foolish in ship."

Reach the Man beeped petulantly, but reluctantly rolled back towards the two airships. Ratio tossed him a telephone. "Take this, wait for the order."

Reach the Man watched as the two Hopeless Situation Warriors left the hanger to progress into the airship, idly wondering if he'd ever see them again.


	2. Chapter 2

The doors to the bridge of the Abruption Doctrine flagship opened, and the sinister cyborg Space General stalked inside. The mighty, four-armed cyborg had once been a Hopeless Situation Warrior, but was now known for killing them.

"After all out what matter?" he snarled. Space General was not known for his manners. He was known for ripping out spleens, which was quite different.

The airship's captain rubbed his hands together nervously. "Two persons entered the airship." As Space General growled and brought his metal hands up, the captain hurriedly added, "We want to hinder them."

"Kill those two republics bodyguard!" ordered Space General. The captain nodded quickly and ordered three destroyer robots to the location of the Hopeless Situation Warriors.

Allah Gold and Ratio Tile had reached the lift by the time the destroyer robots caught up with them. "Exterminate them!" Allah yelled. The robots snapped on their shields and opened fire, driving the Hopeless Situation Warriors into… well, a hopeless situation. With no way past the shields, the two warriors retreated into the lift. Once the door closed, they realized they weren't alone.

"Let go of the weapon" said a stilted, mechanical voice behind them. "I said let go of-"

The two whirled around, igniting their lightsabers, and stared at the seven or eight battle robots in the lift with them.

"Behind of the person" commented one, for no apparent reason. "Do not push."

A few flashes of light later, and they were in pieces on the floor. Ratio pushed the button, and the lift jumped upwards. Meanwhile, Reach the Man huddled into a corner as two battle robots entered the hanger.

"Put the proceeding here over fight" said one, gazing at the devastation in surprise. The other one gave a salute and marched over to the Hopeless Situation airships.

The lift ground to a halt. Ratio frowned and turned to his student. "Did you let it stopped?"

"Have no" replied Allah, glancing in confusion at the floor indicator. "Is you?"

"I have no" Ratio confirmed.

"Were perhaps stuck then?" suggested Allah, drawing his lightsaber. He began to cut a hole in the roof of the lift as Ratio pulled out his telephone. "We must go out everywhere in search of. R2, telephone the steps is here."

In the hanger, the battle robots looked up. Reach the Man pushed himself as far into the alcove as he could.

"Is that what things?" asked one of the robots, looking for the source of the voice.

"R2" came Ratio's rather insistent voice from the telephone. "Telephone quickly-" Reach the Man shoved the phone into one of his body compartments, muffling Ratio's voice. "-the steps is here" he finished.

The curious robot had left its work on the Hopeless Situation airship to find out what was going on. His superior officer called him back. "Come back, there what too have no."

Back on the lift, Ratio frowned at Reach the Man's lack of response. He had always been suspicious of the little robot. He'd just have to ask. "R2…" he sighed. "…do you is fucking?"

Reach the Man gave a beep of indignation which roughly translated to 'look, just because I stick my data probe in the ship does not mean-' but, unfortunately, the robots heard him.

Meanwhile, Allah had just finished cutting through the roof. With the Wish Power to give him a boost, he leapt through the hole. Ratio sighed as he watched his student go, lamenting, "I was old…"

Reach the Man had shuffled back over to the wall socket despite the danger of the droids. "R2" came Ratio's voice insistently. Reach the Man took out the telephone again. "R2."

Reach the Man plugged back in and twisted his data probe. The lift immediately dropped, throwing Ratio off his feet. Allah reacted with the speed only a Hopeless Situation Warrior was capable of, throwing himself upwards to grab onto the nearest ledge, only for two battle robots to show up, pointing blasters at him.

"Stop the bottom!" yelled Ratio into the telephone as the lift dropped. "Stop the bottom, R2!"

"Raise the hand to, boy!" ordered the battle robot on the ledge Allah was hanging from. Allah looked down at the dropping lift, hoping for Ratio to figure something out.

"R2" said Ratio insistently. "Did you hear me? R2, let the elevator risen. Is not a descent."

Reach the Man was working fast, trying to send the lift upwards before the two robots got to him. They'd already spotted him. "Hey, you!"

He just managed to stop the lift's descent and start it up again before he was grabbed and dragged from the socket.

"Now, very good" said Ratio into the telephone as the lift sped upwards again. Reach the Man didn't hear this, because he was busy being picked up by the battle robots. "Stupid robot" one of them said. Reach the Man didn't take kindly to this and sprayed the offender with a blast of oil.

Allah Gold let go as the lift rose towards him. The battle robots shared a chuckle as they watched the Hopeless Situation Warrior drop into the darkness. "Very good" said one in a satisfied tone. They didn't see the lift coming until it was too late.

Allah jumped back through the hole in the roof. Ratio, hearing the thump behind him, whirled round, his lightsaber igniting.

"Is you!" he said in surprise, deactivating the weapon. Allah nodded, then frowned at his teacher. "Is what is the row?" he asked.

"Always is a R2 to come to" explained Ratio. Allah shot him a look-he didn't like people complaining about his robot. "Do not take the elevator to do the game."

"Is all a disaster that R2 ask for!" protested Ratio.

"Is you make the ghost" Allah accused.

"I what did not to" Ratio retorted.

Meanwhile, Reach the Man had sorted out his robot problem. After dousing them in oil, a quick burst from his jets set the two hapless Abruption robots alight. They dropped to the floor and Reach the Man trundled off, beeping happily.

The two Hopeless Situation Warriors finally reached the observation deck. They hurried into the room to see a chair near the huge window. Outside the window, flashes of light zipped between the airships as the battle raged.

The chair turned around. Sitting in it, tied to it, was D the Superior.

"Speaker" said Ratio, bowing deferentially to the great man.

"Does you all is good?" Allah asked, worried. D had always been a good friend to Allah. The Speaker forced a smile to his weathered features. "We are very good" he reassured the young Hopeless Situation Warrior. Then he frowned.

Ratio and Allah turned. There, standing behind them on the upper deck, flanked by two battle robots, was an old, yet imposing figure. The.


	3. Chapter 3

The leapt down to the lower deck. For his age, he was almost impossibly acrobatic. He drew his lightsaber, but did not yet ignite it, and stepped towards the chair.

Allah Gold and Ratio Tile approached him carefully. "Is a time that we cooperated" advised Ratio, remembering the disastrous last time they'd fought The. Allah shook his head and began to advance on his own. "I, an individual, beats not is all right" he proclaimed.

"You two, careful!" D warned them. "He is a Big!"

Ratio turned to D with a smile on his face. "Mr. Speaker" he said, reassuringly. "We are for the Big."

D was a Speaker, and in this case, he did indeed speak the truth. The was a Big, the ancient and mysterious order of dark warriors who had opposed the Hopeless Situation Warriors since time immemorial. The Bigs were capable of using the Wish Power just as the Hopeless Situation Warriors were, and to darker ends.

"Pull out your sword" implored The, a talented duellist who was always up for a fight. "Dedicate the body for your Speaker" he said, shooting a nasty grin at D. Ratio scowled at him. "You this time ran to do not drop."

The three ignited their sabers and began the duel. The lived up to his reputation, parrying blows from his two attackers at once. He stepped back with his crimson blade held out in front of him. "I always at wait for this day."

"Ever since the last time fights with you hereafter my force has promoted two times!" boasted Allah. Even The had to admit that this was impressive. "Very good. Give me surprised and pleased."

The duel resumed. The threw his hand outwards, summoning up the Wish Power to send Ratio flying into the wall. The Hopeless Situation Warrior jumped to his feet as the two battle robots opened fire. He blocked the blasts and sliced the robots to pieces.

"Good!" crowed D. The spun around, grabbing Ratio by the throat with the Wish Power and kicking Allah into the corner. He threw Ratio into another wall, then brought a segment of upper deck crashing down on him.

Allah charged at The, swinging his blade, but The caught it in a lock.

"Even since you I separate" admitted The. "I has been hating you. You are a sacrifice article that I cut up rough now!" he spat at the Hopeless Situation Warrior. The had always had a thing for sacrificing.

Allah glared at the Big, broke the saberlock, and advanced. He swung his blade angrily in more and more powerful blows, finally catching The's hands with a strike. The hands fell to the floor as Allah snatched The's saber out of the air and ignited it, placing one blade on either side of the Big's neck.

D chuckled from his position tied to the chair. "Very good." He spared the unconscious Ratio a quick glance, saying "The Ratio is prosperous" then turned his attention back to Allah. "Very good" he repeated. "Killed him."

Allah looked from The to D in surprise. "Now, killed him" the Speaker continued, with a rather unsettling smile. The's eyes widened in shock. Allah looked back to his defeated opponent. "I can't."

"Hurry" spat D.

Allah uncrossed the two sabers, slicing The's head off. His body collapsed to the floor as Allah deactivated the blades and walked over to D, helping him remove his cuffs.

"You make out quite good" D commented, impressed. He looked from The's corpse to the pained expression in Allah's face, and rushed to reassure the young Hopeless Situation Warrior. "Make him on the hoof, very dangerous."

"To" agreed Allah, "but he is not just a prisoner!" The was in charge of the entire Abruption Doctrine. His live capture could have been used to negotiate a peace deal. Allah would have been fine executing an ordinary prisoner, but he felt someone so important should be left alive to answer for their crimes. "I should not kill him. This not agree with."

"This very nature" countered D. "He hewed away your hand. You also kill certainly he revenge. The business of the vengeance is very familiar. Remember you to have ever tolded me your mother's. Still, there are those pathetic people."

Allah looked down. Before the war had started, his mother had been kidnapped by the pathetic people, a race of aliens native to the planet of Africa who were derided by the general population. They had struck back by kidnapping an African citizen. Allah had failed to save her, and had slaughtered all the pathetic people in a fit of rage.

"We must leave now" said D, shaking Allah out of his thoughts. "Otherwise they all at worry." He began to walk. Allah followed, then rushed over to check on Ratio.

"Gold…" began D. Allah looked up. "He big in nothing, important in good elephant."

"Do not take care of him" advised D. "Otherwise and too late."

This order, Allah ignored. "We can't throw down him." He hauled his unconscious teacher over his back and began the trek through the ship.

Space General was not yet aware of the death of The. Working on the assumption that the Big was handling the Hopeless Situation Warriors, the cyborg was focussing his attention on the airship battle. "Beat, we are great and black influences!" he proclaimed as his airship prepared to jump away from Coruscant with its prize.

"Give your runaway!" screamed the captain as a Gram Republic airship suddenly pulled alongside the flagship, blasting it and cutting off its escape route.

"The elevator was out of order" frowned Allah as he and D left the observation deck. "R2, come 3224 elevators are here."

In the hanger, the robot beeped and began hacking again. Outside, the Gram Republic airship had landed a lucky hit, sending Space General's airship dropping towards the surface of Coruscant.

"Stabilize the airship!" screamed the captain in a mad panic. One of the battle robots nodded, tapping a screen. "Stabilize the airship" it repeated emotionlessly.

The lift stopped as the shaft began to turn horizontal. With no other way out, Allah helped D out of the previously-made hole in the ceiling.

Back on the bridge, the captain was even more panicked. His life might still be saved, but his dignity had definitely gone. "Stabilize the airship!"

Space General scowled, pushed the captain aside and yelled at the robot. "Start all engines!"

As Allah and D were running through the lift shaft, they suddenly found it was more vertical than they'd have liked. Allah grabbed onto the nearest ledge with one hand, holding D with the other and Ratio slung over his shoulder. Ratio chose this particular moment to wake up.

"Relax" said Allah. "This circumstance, we saw many."

"Slow, that is what?" Ratio replied. The three looked up and saw the lift drop towards them. Allah grabbed the telephone. "R2, R2, let elevator stopped!"

"A day after the fair!" yelled Ratio. "Jump, quickly!"

The Hopeless Situation Warriors dropped down the shaft. Using grapple hooks, they managed to pull themselves to safety just before the lift crushed them.

"See can also must not find out the exit" Ratio added urgently. "The airship returns at fly!"

"R2, come down here" said Allah.

On the bridge, the pilot robot had just seen the Hopeless Situation Warriors on a security camera. "Superior!" he reported. "They have escaped a day after the fair!"

Space General slammed a fist into the nearest console, considering a worthy punishment for the failures he called his troops. "I should really feeds you all dog!" he eventually decided, and directed them to activate the trap.

Ray shields flickered on in the corridors, neatly catching Allah, Ratio and D. "Order patiently" Allah muttered.

"Where is the row?" asked Ratio. Allah looked around. "I said, toing have the patience."

Ratio nodded. "Good of, patience."

"To, the R2 came right away!" said Allah happily, before reconsidering when Reach the Man failed to show up. "In a moment" he hastily added. "Then can make we out!" he suggested brightly. Ratio raised his eyebrows at his student.

Reach the Man suddenly raced into the corridor. Allah glanced at Ratio with a smug expression on his face. "Lo, all right." The expression vanished as an army of battle robots entered the room.

"Raise the hand!" one of them ordered Reach the Man, who zapped him with a bolt of electricity. Another one kicked the robot over. Ratio sighed and glanced at Allah. "Do you have what to want to say?" he asked, dryly.


	4. Chapter 4

"Liked too" Space General was saying to his subordinates as the prisoners were brought to the bridge. He turned and addressed them. "Sir, you came, finally!" he said, making a questionable reference. "I always at expect your come" he boasted. "This is not the once successful salvation activity, too."

A battle robot handed Space General the lightsabers he'd confiscated from the Hopeless Situation Warriors. Space General snatched them. "Welcome you" muttered the robot as he walked off. Space General chuckled. "Just hopeless situation warrior. I think is what somebody intruded in to come."

"Space General" Allah Gold spoke up. "You and not equal to I think severe."

Space General glared at the young Hopeless Situation Warrior. "Smelly boy…" he spat as he stalked off towards the command console. Despite the situation, Ratio chuckled. "We still have the mission" he reminded his student. "You do not ask for the him."

"Don't you ever think to discover here from I clues" Space General continued ranting to his captives as he stowed the sabers in his belt.

"This time we have no this plan" Ratio warned the general. "The this time your turn escaped."

"R2!" Allah suddenly shouted. Reach the Man responded almost instantly, activating every device in his boxy metal body. As everyone was staring at the display, Ratio and Allah snatched their sabers back with the Wish Power.

"Batter to death them!" roared Space General. His guard robots activated their staves and approached the Hopeless Situation Warriors as they began hacking regular robots to pieces. "Batter to death them!" he repeated, just in case they hadn't got the message.

The security robots began dragging D to the first aid airship as Allah and Ratio engaged the guard robots. "Batter to death them!" screamed Space General. The robot fighting Ratio swung his staff, getting it caught in a control panel, which provided an opening for Ratio to slice its head neatly off. This failed to deter the relentless machine, which only collapsed once Ratio had delivered a second slice through its chest. Allah had a considerably easier time with his robot, cutting it down and still having time to save D.

"Leave he!" ordered Space General. He might threaten and yell at them a lot, but deep down, the cyborg did care for his troops. "Run! Quickly!"

The two Hopeless Situation Warriors cornered Space General. The machine menace simply chuckled and picked up a staff. "Useless, sir!" he informed his hated rivals as he slung the weapon at the window of the airship.

The window shattered and Space General leapt out. Metal shutters slammed the window closed, but it was too late. The cyborg was already on the outside of the airship, climbing towards the first aid airships to escape.

"First aid airship" the General muttered as he dropped into one. Before he escaped, he took the time to launch all the other first aid airships, and in doing so deny the Hopeless Situation Warriors a way off his flagship, which was already falling apart.

Allah saw the lights denoting the launching of the first aid airships. His first thoughts, however, were to help D. His hair had been messed up when the security robots had grabbed him. Ratio frowned at his student. "Giving first aid the already dishevelled hair projection" the young warrior said defensively. Ratio shook his head. "You feel that… can we drive this everybodys?"

" _That_ you need not anxious about" Allah replied sardonically. He left D and ran over to the controls. "Under a certain circumstance my driver the ability. Open to rise and fall open to have to drive."

Ratio rushed to help. Allah frowned as the airship began to break up, but was then distracted by a Gram Republic airship flying over to help. "The Good Elephant in airship dropped what things?" he muttered. The Good Elephant was a famous Gram Republic airship pilot.

"Did not relate to we the Good Elephant returns" Ratio advised. "The beginning accelerates" Allah agreed. He frowned as he fought to control the huge vessel down to Coruscant's surface.

"Speed 16!" called out Ratio. "We entered the atmosphere!"

"Keep speed" Allah directed. The airship, by this point, had snapped completely in two. Emergency fire airships were already speeding to intercept.

"Rush out the atmosphere!" Ratio informed Allah. Reach the Man beeped, concerned. "Relax, R2" Allah said, soothingly.

"5000 rices are high empty" Ratio muttered, then saw the approaching fire airships. "It is or so and each to there is 5 airships."

Allah nodded, sweat dripping from his brow. "The front is a lemon avenue!" Ratio pointed out. "Flying straightly."

"The temperature of our airship is too high" warned Allah, swinging the ship round towards the lemon avenue. Jets of water lashed at the ship, attempting to cool it and put out the fire. The ship smashed into the lemon avenue, cutting down a tower. Finally, after a few nerve-racking seconds that felt like hours to the airship's four remaining occupants, the gargantuan vessel ground to a halt.

Once they were sure they were alive, Ratio looked around at his fellow survivors, grinning. He jokingly complained, "The nobody greets…"


	5. Chapter 5

The battle was over. The wreckage of Space General's flagship was being cleared up, and the rest of the Abruption airships had been driven from Coruscant by the heroes of the Gram Republic. Sadly, Space General himself had escaped. Nonetheless, with the death of The, the Abruption Doctrine couldn't possibly hold itself together much longer. As a result, Allah Gold, Ratio Tile and D the Superior were being flown to the Senate for a celebration. The delegation was led by Text How Big, a member of the Presbyterian Church, the council of the Hopeless Situation Warriors. How Big was widely regarded as one of the most powerful Hopeless Situation Warriors in the galaxy, second only to the grand master, Vanquish Is. D immediately left the transport airship to greet the delegation, but Ratio hung back. Allah turned to him. "Do you do not come down, teacher?"

"Not" Ratio shook his head. "I am uninterested to politics. Your peace negotiations makes progress to go to all right. And, you have the prospect very much, you go in" he suggested. Allah grinned and shook his head.

"Etc, it is your idea that one of this rescue" he reminded his teacher.

"You do not forget, Gold" Ratio reminded him. "Is you rescued the Speaker. Is you killed The. Is you saved I return to carry on the back me a dangerous."

"But I am all to is trained by you" Allah pointed out, trying to stay modest.

"I do not like to set foot in the politics" Ratio admitted. "Gold, today is _your_ day. Your meeting celebrates for a day of the honour."

Allah sighed. "Like, record, you owe me a. You owed seven times."

"Is nine times, in fact" Ratio pointed out, recalling the other two that Allah might not have remembered. Then he quickly added, "Like, this time, do not calculate. In fact."

He stepped into the transport airship and left. Allah shook his head but couldn't suppress a grin as he turned towards the delegation, where D was conversing with Text How Big.

"Mr Speaker, you return all right" Text was saying in a relieved tone. D smiled.

"Yes, I am good" D confirmed. "Thank you to send the person. But, the General Space escaped again" he sighed. Text How Big shook his head sadly.

"The General Space can always succeed to succeed" he explained, alluding to the dreaded cyborg's reputation. People said the demon of a General had never once failed at anything. "He is very deceitful."

"He is to splits up the Doctrine Alliance leads" D warned. "And I guarantee to you. As long as he is on the hoof, the parliament will support the war by voting."

"Mr Speaker" Text assured him. "We can never compromise to black."

The delegation began to walk into the Senate building, Allah walking with a senator who went by the name of Senator. Behind him came Reach the Man and Allah's other robot, a golden protocol model named Blow the Skin.

"The Republican national legislature" Senator was saying. Allah nodded. "Again, thankful parliament."

Blow the Skin was talking animatedly to Reach the Man, who was glad of the gold robot's company. Protocol robots could understand R2 beeps.

"Hear, they must not do so" Blow the Skin was going on about her favourite topic: the politics of the Senate. Reach the Man beeped noncommittally. "Boon" the protocol robot agreed. "I agree your way of speaking. In fact, I, a person, can also grasp the space."

"The war will continue unless grasp the General" Allah added, overhearing Blow the Skin's comments. Senator's tone was grave. "But I will do my the whole effort."

Allah was about to respond, when he saw a figure lurking in the shadows of the Senate building. "Walk first one step, sir" he advised Senator, then bowed and took his leave. Senator walked off with the robots, while Allah hurried over to the woman. This was The Plum Of, Senator of South Korea and Allah Gold's wife.

"Oh, Gold…" she muttered as they embraced each other. Allah smiled warmly.

"Dear, how are you?"

"Hear of you is killed…" Plum replied quietly. Allah felt a pang of guilt. For months now he'd been outsystem, enjoying the relish of battle, without considering the feelings of his beloved, left back at home and only hearing rumours.

"I did not die, is not" he told her. A bit unnecessary, but he felt the need to reassure her. "Apparently we will separate the lifetime similar. While hearing of the Speaker were kidnap I thought of that I want to attend the salvation activity."

Plum was still worried. Allah moved to embrace her again, but she stopped him. "Etc., not here, Line" she implored. With Hopeless Situation Warriors forbidden to marry, and Senatorial scandals happening daily, they couldn't afford a public reveal of their relationship.

"I had enough of these politicseses" retorted Allah. "I think only of to get married with you."

"Do not say these!" pleaded Plum, and the two embraced again. Allah frowned, something was still clearly wrong with his beloved.

"Are you OK?" he asked her. "You is shivering. How?" A little-known fact about Senator The Plum Of was an odd genetic condition, one which rendered her nearly incapable of shivering. Anything that could cause her to shake like that must be big. Allah looked into her eyes, concerned.

Plum sighed, then allowed herself a small smile. "Waiting for the happy event condescends to come… Dear… I was pregnant."

Allah could have staggered back, overcome with joy, fear, and a hundred other emotions, but he held his ground. "This…" he began, searching for something to say. "This is really… too stick" he finally managed to get out. Plum was still looking worried. "We should how do?" she asked.

"I no longer worried the other thing now" Allah assured her. "Good. This is a happy time. The most happy time of inside of whole life."

They embraced once more, and headed their separate ways: Plum to the Senate, Allah to the Hopeless Situation Temple.


	6. Chapter 6

On a planet far, far from Coruscant, an Abruption transport airship slipped into the atmosphere. It landed and the familiar, hulking figure of Space General emerged, flanked by his bodyguard robots. He ignored the delegation of natives and gave the Abruption Doctrine council headed by President Nute 'Nuts' Gunray only a cursory glance. He had a far more important meeting, with the one who, though the council didn't know it, was in charge of them all. Even The was under his fold. Had been under his fold, Space General corrected himself, before that Hopeless Situation Warrior had put an end to that.

He entered the room that had been specially prepared for him to make his reports, his bodyguards taking up positions outside the door. Once Space General was sure it was secure, he activated a hologram telephone. An image of a hooded figure appeared. A powerful but mysterious man. The had been close to him, but to Space General, the man only identified himself as the West Emperor. He bowed low, and began to make his report.

"I came, West Emperor" he said. A bit of an odd start, but the Emperor had specifically said that he wanted to hear _everything_ that had happened since they last spoke, and it had been a long transport ride, after all.

The West Emperor's expression was halfway between one of disgust and one of curiosity, perhaps wondering whether or not Space General even still had the necessary parts for such activities after his conversion to cyborg, but then shook himself and returned to the main focus of the meeting.

"Space General" he began. "I suggest you have the Abruption." Space General's robotic chest somehow managed to swell at those words. The Emperor knew how much the General had wanted that final promotion-leader of the entire Abruption Doctrine.

He then brought the conversation around to the… secret project the Doctrine was working on. "All concentrates to transfer the Wood Method Star!"

The Wood Method Star was the most terrifying weapon ever conceived. It was, in essence, a giant station wagon which harnessed the sheer power of its exhaust to destroy entire planets. Few people knew of its existence and fewer still of its true purpose. And on that particular score, Space General had some very good news that he was extremely eager to divulge.

"That has completed, my host!" he informed the West Emperor. The Emperor smiled, a thin-lipped smile that promised only death.

"The judgement day of world come quickly, General" the Emperor informed him. Space General raised a hand, voicing a concern that had been bothering him all through the airship journey… well, at least before he'd found a way to take his mind off it.

"But… we lost The!" he pointed out. The Emperor chuckled and shook his head.

"His deed is what doesn't matter" he explained. "My new… accepted disciple… Younger than him. More… severe…"

He began to cackle. Not quite sure what the man was talking about, but sure it must be some evil plan, Space General joined in. The bodyguard robots standing outside exchanged confused glances at the sounds from their master's room, then returned to their vigil.

Night had fallen on Coruscant, and Allah Gold was at The Plum Of's apartment. Plum was idly brushing her hair as she explained her wistful visions about their future with their child. "I living the child's time" she murmured. "You must at home. Make the home a little bit more safe."

Allah smiled. He was getting sick of the endless warfare, and soon enough, when it was over, he'd like a chance to relax. Maybe he'd even renounce the Hopeless Situation Warriors and become an ordinary person again.

Plum continued her dreaming. "I can breakfast for the new house!" she suggested suddenly, ecstatically. "The baby tidy up it." She paused and smiled at Allah. "It has a great father. A great Hopeless Situation Warrior."

Allah chuckled lightly. "The beauty that you are like this" he muttered, just loud enough for her to hear. Plum smiled and stopped combing her hair.

"I let me become the beauty to your love" she said. Allah laughed. "Not…" he countered. "I love you, love deeper!"

"Your meaning is a love to tie up you?" Plum asked. Allah paused, frowning slightly. He knew Plum was into some weird stuff, but that was still quite a blunt way of introducing such matters into their relationship. He shook his head quickly, clarifying, "That is not my meaning."

"At least, I say to half" Plum replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Screams of pain. Plum's crying face as she howled, "Return my baby!". Ratio's futile attempts to help or at least console the dying woman. These vivid images continued to assault his mind until Allah Gold awoke, throwing himself upwards. It was a miracle he didn't cry out, because if he had, he would have woken Plum.

He got out of bed, walking over to the balcony. He wasn't quiet enough, though, and as he left the room, his wife stirred in her sleep.

As Allah stared out into Coruscant's skyline, ruminating on the dream, Plum approached behind him. "You is missing what?" she asked, sensing something was wrong.

Allah shook his head quickly. Too quickly. "Nothing important." Noticing that Plum was wearing the necklace he'd given her many years ago, he tried to change the subject, reaching out and rolling it between his fingers. "I still remember the scene that send your this…"

Plum refused to be drawn, ignoring the necklace and staring straight into Allah's eyes. "To spend how long" she challenged, "does two lovers talent open heart?"

Allah sighed. "Resemble a dream" he admitted. Plum nodded, having guessed that much. "Boon?" she asked.

"My dream arrived the scene for mother to depart this life."

"Then?" she prompted gently.

"Dreamed you now."

"Tell me" Plum implored. Allah shook his head. "Just a dream…" he muttered, more to himself than to Plum. "Is just…"

He sighed again, and looked Plum directly in the eye. "You died at the time of livinging the child" he told her, bluntly.

To her credit, Plum registered shock and worry on her face for merely a second, before it was gone. Rather than panic about her own morality, she had only one question for her husband. "Is that baby on the hoof?"

Allah shrugged. "Do not know."

"Just a dream…" Plum repeated Allah's words, trying to reassure him. "Is just…"

"I do not hope this dream true" Allah told her. Plum nodded, then voiced her own concerns. "Our baby… will change our life. The queen will continue to allow us as her loyal to, then… Speaker his…"

"I know, I know" Allah cut her off.

While the Queen of South Korea would be happy to continue allowing Plum to serve on the Senate, Speaker was a different story, as was the Presbyterian Church.

Plum looked up, surprised at Allah's impatient tone. "You feel that does the child will help up?"

"I do not need the child's help" Allah said sharply. Seeing Plum's startled expression, he softened and added, "Our baby blesses god'sly."

Despite his reassurances, he was still worried about it the next morning, so much so that Vanquish Is called him into a side room to ask him what was wrong.

Vanquish was a small, green, frog-like creature. Few would guess that he was in fact the most powerful Hopeless Situation Master in the galaxy. It was a simple matter for one so strong in the Wish Power to look into Allah Gold's thoughts.

"Pregnancy?" he muttered. Allah looked up, panicked. He should have been more careful to shield his mind from the Master, lest he discover the truth about him and Plum. "Pregnancy" he repeated, frowning at Allah. "After all, does the dream arrived the what kind of?"

"Pain and sufferings" answered Allah, but he had a feeling that Vanquish knew already. "Ache, death."

Vanquish gave him a searching glance. "Your oneself?" he inquired. "Or person whom you know?"

He knew the answer to this one too, Allah could see it on his face. He dropped his gaze, unwilling to look Vanquish in the eye as he admitted, "Other person."

" _Intimate_ person?" Vanquish prompted.

"Yes" Allah replied.

"You must be careful" Vanquish advised him. "Worry to lose, is to lead the Evil Augury."

This was another tenant of the Hopeless Situation religion. The Evil Augury was supposedly an embodiment of the Dark Side of the Wish Power. 'To lead the Evil Augury' was to fall to the dark side, to become a Big, like The, or worse. A West. The West was an even more mysterious order of dark side Wish Power users. The had once told Ratio Tile that a West was in control of both the Bigs, and the Abruption Doctrine. And… he'd even hinted that the West was in control of the Gram Republic.

Allah looked up at Vanquish. "I hope that these dreamses really can't become-" His voice cracking with emotion, he left the sentence unfinished. He'd given away too much already to the Hopeless Situation Master.

Vanquish sighed. "Death, is a life natural a part" he explained. "Keep off to will carry toward you to evil person. Take no notice of them do not miss them. Lead long to pull with them only will bring to envy."

He fixed Allah with his most searching gaze yet. "That is the dark beginning" he warned.

"Should I how do?" Allah implored the Master. "The master of?"

"Train the oneself" Vanquish advised. "The Academic Association. Abandonning the oneself worries the lost thing."

Allah thanked Vanquish for his time, bowed, and left. He headed towards the Academic Association, knowing in his heart that he could never abandon his worries.


	8. Chapter 8

The Hopeless Situation Temple War Room was buzzing with activity. With The dead, it fell to the Hopeless Situation Warriors to remove Space General from the equation before the war could end. Ratio Tile looked up from the briefing he was receiving as his student walked in-late, as usual.

He raised a hand in greeting. "You missed the combat report of the other warrior" he informed Allah, disapprovingly.

Allah sighed. "Sorry. I occupied to delay. I give to do not lend out."

Ratio shook his head, then dropped the matter to focus on more important things. "It is brief to come to say the meeting." He chuckled slightly as he remembered the insults the other Hopeless Situation Warrior had been screaming at him during the meeting. " _Apparently_ I depraved" he said, dryly. "But the tile time transferred the troops."

Allah frowned. "What mistake does that have?"

Ratio shrugged, glancing back at the hologram telephone. "The parliament plan passes the vote give."

"This means the less freedom with more wars!" exclaimed Allah happily. Ratio stared at him, dumbfounded. "Like… this not good?" Allah asked, slightly confused. "Like this, we can sooner at an end war-"

"Carefully of your friend, Speaker" Ratio interrupted. He was tired of his student's… less intelligent moments, and wanted to get to the core of the reason he'd summoned him to the briefing room. Which was this: the Presbyterian Church didn't trust D. They thought he was getting too big for his boots, and with the emergency powers he had been granted for the duration of the war allowing him to place more and more sanctions on the people, the Hopeless Situation Warriors were increasingly worried that he'd have trouble giving them up once the Abruption Doctrine had been finished. As Allah himself had just said, 'less freedom with more wars'.

Allah stared at his teacher. "Carefully what?" he asked incredulously. Ratio sighed and explained.

"He does not hand over to send army the power."

"Why?" asked Allah.

"He do not say."

"He did so in not for the sake of the parliament" pointed out Allah. "This often is falsely, to?"

Ratio shook his head again. "Everything is all not normal" he confessed. He walked towards the door, then paused and turned back to his student. "This let me feeling uneasy all."

Later that day, D summoned Allah to his office. The Hopeless Situation Warrior entered and bowed to the Speaker, who smiled warmly.

"I hope you to believe me, Gold" D said. Allah nodded. "Certainly."

D sighed. "I need your help, young man."

"Your meaning is?" asked Allah. D got up and put a hand on Allah's shoulder. He sighed.

"I depend on you" he admitted. Allah frowned, confused.

"Does… needing me do what?" he asked. "I do not understand."

D cleared his throat and led Allah outside the office. "You is I" he explained as they walked. "Face the public eye ear. With voice" he added. Seeing Allah's blank look, he simplified his request. "I appointment to office… you. As the private."

Allah's heart skipped a beat. "I?" he stammered. "Make the elder?" He stared into D's face, trying to see if he was joking. The Speaker looked deadly serious. "T-This honour and duties is… a lot too big. Parliament contain their member" he pointed out. "They take nothing of."

D chuckled slightly. "I miss their meeting of. They need you. You think the elephant do not?" So saying, he patted Allah on the back and walked away to make the necessary arrangements, leaving the Hopeless Situation Warrior standing stunned in the office. Him? A member of the Parliament? And the Presbyterian Church? It was something he'd always dreamed of. And once he was one of them, the Presbyterian Church would have to grant him the title of Hopeless Situation Elder. He'd be able to access forbidden data… learn how to save Plum.

As a result, when the Presbyterian Church called him to a meeting the next day, he was giddy with excitement. He steadied his breathing as he walked into the Church meeting room and stood before the elders.

Vanquish was the first to speak. "The Parliament admission D do so" he said. "The argument agrees the D of… adjust you into."

"I understood" Allah nodded, trying to contain his excitement. The rest of the Church turned to Text How Big as he began to speak.

"You entered the Parliament" he conceded. "We do not give you the title."

"What?" Allah took a step back, his joy evaporating. It felt like he'd been punched in the chest. "Can be how like this? Like this… too wide of the mark!" he protested. No Hopeless Situation Warrior in the Church had not been granted the title. "Like this inequality! I can how… belong to the Parliament, but is not-"

Text cut him off with a raised hand. "You sit down first, young a line."

Allah was about to retort, when he realised that everyone in the room was looking at him. Ratio in particular was shaking his head with an annoyed expression. Allah's cheeks coloured slightly, and he bowed. "Forgive me, elder." He sat down in the proffered chair.

The holo-telephone form of Ki-Adi-Mundi turned the topic of the meeting back to the war. "We have investigated of the Republic is systematic. Have no the trace and shadow that discovers."

Vanquish nodded, Allah's outburst already forgotten. "To find the Space General, you must search for the Outer Circle System." The Outer Circle System was rumoured to be the current Abruption Doctrine stronghold.

"We have no superfluous airship" Ratio pointed out. Ki-Adi had another pressing problem. "Do not send out the air tank" he pointed out. "Why?"

"Send out right away the tank" agreed Text. "Go there, very important."

Ratio nodded as well. "He cans say that again. That system is very…" He searched for the necessary word, but Vanquish cut across him. "Let me going to" he offered. "I relate to, with new hands, quite good."

Text leaned back in his chair. "That comes to a decision, so. The Master of helps the Republic troops." Keeping the diminishing resources of the Republic and the lack of available troopers, he added "Send the troopseses only."

And with that, the meeting was adjourned.


	9. Chapter 9

Allah Gold and Ratio Tile left the Presbyterian Church meeting room. Allah was fuming. Beside him, Ratio calmly measured his stride to match his student's angry march.

"Is really boring!" Allah burst out, apparently unable to contain himself any longer. "Let me enter the Parliament, do not let me…" He left the sentence unfinished, momentarily too angry to speak. He took a calming breath, and continued. "Have no on the republic history such!"

Ratio sighed and put an arm on Allah's shoulder, steadying him. "Town, young man" he reprimanded gently. "You thered has been. You are so young, and then enter the Parliament have. In reality, you the relation of long peace." Allah opened his mouth to spit out another retort, so Ratio cut him off with a raised finger. "The Parliament do not like you like this."

Allah looked down, ashamed. "I swear to you" he implored his teacher. "I did not call the D of adjust."

"But that exactly what you want of" Ratio reminded him. Allah had spoken often of his desire to join the Parliament. "You must make him doing so with his comity."

"This has no relation with our comity!" Allah protested.

"The argument agrees the Speaker puts you into unique" Ratio replied. "Parliament… all the member trusts you."

Whatever Allah had expected to hear, it wasn't that. They trusted him? Clearly, not enough to give him the title, or even to accept him into the Parliament without D's suggestion. "Does that is how again?" he asked accusingly. Ration ignored him.

"And I stands in your part" he continued, then sighed. This was going to be difficult. "I do not want to make…"

Sensing something was wrong, Allah gave his teacher his full attention. "What circumstances?" he asked, worriedly.

Ratio took a deep breath. Allah wasn't going to like his new assignment. "The Parliament wants to let you keep watch" he finally admitted. Then, deciding he'd better give his student the full briefing: "They want to know him at fuck."

A group of Hopeless Situation political experts had been called in, and all agreed that this was the best way to remove D from his role as Speaker. All over the galaxy, daily, politicians had their careers destroyed by their actions… 'beneath the sheets', as it were. If the Hopeless Situation Warriors could just catch D doing something embarrassing or incriminating, they could have him removed and start the business of finding another Speaker without any accusations of trying to subvert the Gram Republic's democracy.

Allah staggered back. This was too much. Not only were they refusing him the title, they had the _audacity_ to ask him to spy on one of his best friends? "They want to let do… _I_ be the spy?" he demanded. "That is to rebels!"

"This is the war, Gold" Ratio reminded him. Allah shot his teacher a look fouler than Ratio could remember in all their years of training.

"Give me this mission in the Parliament" Allah pointed out, trying to suppress his anger. They could easily have told him of his assignment during the meeting. His teacher didn't need to be the one to break the news. "Why?"

"This mission is clandestine" Ratio explained. Allah glared in the direction of the Presbyterian Church meeting room.

"Speaker D and is not a bad person" he muttered, half to himself, half to Ratio. "Ever since I came here… he is friendly to me."

"So, you must help up!" Ratio jumped at an opportunity to make his point. "Gold, our faith believes in our religion. But is not to believe in a certain person." The Hopeless Situation Warriors did not directly serve the Republic, or the Speaker, after all. His student had sometimes had trouble grasping such complex political matters. "He wants to make an effort, long hours occupy" Ratio explained.

Allah frowned, still unsure. "Is a Parliament decision to let him continuing?"

It wasn't. The Parliament very much wanted to stop D from continuing. But given the delicateness of the situation, Ratio decided a half-truth was apt. "Considers with your felling once here."

"You are a discipline to want to let me oppose…" Allah sighed, looking directly into Ratio's eyes for the first time in the conversation. "Objection Republic, objection morals… Oppose the friend this. Why you want to let me doing so?" he implored.

"Because the Parliament call you doing so" Ratio said simply.

There was nothing more to be said. Both Hopeless Situation Warriors recognized it, and bowing to each other, went their separate ways. Allah headed off to the nearest civilian airship port to begin his assignment, while Ratio's choice of transport was a more military flavour, essential for the secret second meeting he was holding with the leading members of the Parliament.

He boarded a Republic gun airship, a troop-transport type used to drop off small clone forces on the planets they fought on. In this case, however, the gun airship was being used to transport Vanquish Is to the airship that would take him to his current assignment on the forest world of Kashyyyk. Text and Vanquish were waiting for him onboard the airship, and it took off almost as soon as he'd boarded.

"The Gold did not produce any enthusiasm to this mission" Ratio informed his superiors regretfully. Text scowled and shook his head reprovingly.

"Put the Gold with the D of two together: very dangerous" he insisted. "I feel that this child cans not handles. I distrust him" he told Ratio bluntly. Ratio's eyes widened slightly, but otherwise he barely reacted. Text's attitude wasn't surprising, it was something Ratio had long suspected. What was surprising was that the stoic Hopeless Situation Warrior was admitting it so openly. Ratio realized that Text had absolute trust in _him_ to not tell Allah at the first opportunity.

He decided to try reasoning with the Elder. "Difficult way, he is not a Parliament group to be" he protested. "Difficult way he under the past have no!"

"So the Elder all how says" Text muttered. Now _this_ was a surprise. Ratio knew that Allah was something of a favourite among the Parliament, but he didn't expect that they'd all _trust_ him to the extent that Ratio himself did.

Vanquish smiled and sat down on the floor of the airship. "We all like him. He is a right candidate."

"He can't let me disappointing of" Ratio hurriedly reassured the Elders. "Have always been to have no."

"I hope you right" Vanquish replied in an unusually grave voice. The airship touched down, and Vanquish waved goodbye to his friends.

Meanwhile, Allah Gold hadn't exactly gone straight to D's office as he was supposed to. He'd taken a quick stop off at Plum's house to calm himself after the Parliament's insult. Plum could tell that something was wrong, but decided that it was probably a Hopeless Situation matter and that asking about it could set him off.

"Sometimes…" Allah muttered. "I too so after all the Republic was how. That war has no well arranged order to disrupt the Republic."

On the other hand, if it was a _political_ matter, that was more Plum's area of expertise, and truth be told, she had some misgivings of her own.

"You had to think, perhaps we stands at the bad person's part" she mused. Allah turned to look at her.

"You are what mean?" he asked. Plum shrugged.

"Why we loyal to democracy, nonexistent any further?" she asked. "Why Republic a war machine at demolish everything?"

"I dare not believe" Allah muttered. After everything else today, Plum was turning on him too? "Your tone resembles an Abruption Doctrine" he told her accusingly.

"This war represented your mistake" Plum reminded him. That stung more than anything else. Allah hardly needed reminding that the entire war happened because he failed to stop The back on Geonosis. "Your peace negotiations grows now the most close" Plum continued. "Everybody want that say to you. 'Let him stop the war'" she implored.

Allah shook his head, standing up. "Do not let me do this matter… say the words of some representative's justice" he suggested. She was the politician here, after all. He was the warrior. Why was everyone asking _him_ to deal with the peace-making?

"You say what?" Plum asked hopefully. Allah shook his head quickly.

"Nothing important."

Plum sighed, standing up and embracing him. "Do not be like this. Do not shout to me, let me _help_ you. Embrace me, resemble at pull the cloth by the. Resemble long time ago, in the world only. Have no the politics. Have no the D of."

Allah finally accepted the hug and responded in kind. For a moment, he let himself imagine a galaxy without war. Where he didn't have to worry about the politics, or the Parliament, or any of it. Just him, and Plum, and their still-growing child.

Then the moment passed. He gave Plum a kiss and left the house to find D and begin his assignment.


	10. Chapter 10

D was a man of culture. As a result, when the Speaker sent for him, Allah Gold knew exactly where to find him at half-past ten on a Thursday evening. Hurrying through crowds of punters outside Coruscant's most reputable performance house, Allah quickly located the Speaker's private box. A quick talk with the guards, and he was in, where the performance was already well underway.

D looked up, almost as if he had sensed the young Hopeless Situation Warrior approaching. His features split into a smile. Allah bowed.

"You wish to see I, is Speaker?" Allah asked, straightening up. D nodded and beckoned him closer to his chair.

"To, Gold, close the amount. I have a good news" the Speaker told him. "I beat the intelligence bureau the telephone." The Gram Republic's Clone Intelligence Bureau was an effective secret service, but perhaps almost _too_ secret at times. Infamously so. Any information they managed to get would usually be locked up even from their own allies, thus the need to get the telephone before they did.

"They discovers the directions of the Space General" D continued. "He hides particularly within the System Of."

Allah grinned. He'd never heard of the System Of, but doubtless the Hopeless Situation records would contain its location. "Found out, finally!" The defeat of the Space General would be perfect for him. There would be no way Text could deny him the title after this. "I should hold tight this devil to end war!"

D smiled again, or perhaps it was a slightly confused grimace at Allah's proposed method of stopping the Space General. "I worry about the collective intelligence of the Parliament" he muttered. "They did not send you to carry out this mission. Clearly, you are the best choice." He turned to his entourage of guards and aides. "Sit. Back the bottom."

The entourage groaned, got up, and headed out of the door to begin the lengthy process of finding a free seat on one of the lower levels. D motioned to Allah to take one of the vacated seats, and the Hopeless Situation Warrior did so. He wasn't as worried as D about the Parliament's choice. They hadn't sent him to search for Space General, yes, but he was certain they'd choose him for the mission to actually finish the robot.

D sighed. "Gold, you know I can't depend on this Parliament. And they bring into you too in the scheme, I hear?"

Allah's cheeks coloured. So D knew about his secret mission. He decided to tackle the first part of D's statement, and ignore the second bit until it was brought up again. "I am not that understand…"

D nodded. "You are affirmative to have doubted" he said approvingly. "The Hopeless Situation Parliament wants to rule. They plan the betrayal me."

Allah shook his head. The Speaker must have been mistaken. "I do not think so-" he began to protest. D cut him off.

"Gold. Careful, want. You understand of, to."

And Allah _did_ understand. At least, he knew that the Parliament was suspicious of D. He knew that he had been denied the title, and that the Parliament knew he was on good terms with D. Was that why they'd denied him? He was still unsure. "I know that they do not believe you" he said hesitantly. D murmured his assent.

"To, all councilmans, whole Republic" he said quietly. Allah shrugged. "Our cognition hereafter, one of my thought?" he offered.

"Why?" D asked him. "They force you to do what? Not the affair of the brilliance! They let you keep watch on me."

This was it. No avoiding the subject this time. Allah looked away from D as he answered. "I not… I do not know and should how say."

D laid a hand on Allah's shoulder kindly. "Remember" he said. "You're the day of the warrior study of the past. Have a person who have your power." He paused. "Even Hopeless Situation Elder."

This was definitely wrong. The Hopeless Situation Warriors didn't seek power. "The Hopeless Situation Elder is what justice!" Allah protested. D merely chuckled.

"Justice to see what aspects see?" he countered evenly. "Hopeless Situation Elders at similar to others are all. Include the look forward to the right."

Allah couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was D honestly suggesting that the West was in the right? "But the West Emperor depends on the improbity!" he pointed out, somewhat desperately. "They consider the oneself only."

"I also belong to the Hopeless Situation Presbyterian" D replied. Throughout the exchange, he never dropped his smile. Allah was still struggling to understand his point.

"Hopeless Situation Elder should have no private" he told the Speaker. "They only concern other people."

D shook his head, and returned his attention to the performers momentarily. When he next spoke, it was of a different subject. "Did you heard the Tragedy that Reach the Man?" he asked. Allah frowned, wondering where the Speaker was going with this new line of conversation.

"Not" he replied, shaking his head.

D averted his eyes from the performers again, turning back to look at Allah. "I think to be too is not. I think that the Hopeless Situation Elder also can't. That is a legend. Reaching the Man, cloth space, is the Emperor. He is so strong and big. He can even use the Original Dint to create life."

Allah stared at D. Did the Speaker mean what Allah thought he meant? The vision of Plum shrieking in pain suddenly came back vividly. "In fact, he can come back from the brink of death?" he finally managed to stammer.

"The Black Influence can the matter that many supermans" was D's simple answer. "But other people thinks that these are what can't attains."

Allah didn't care how many people didn't think they could attain such power. He realised that it might well be the only chance he had to save his beloved Plum from certain death. Surely, if anyone could attain that power, it was him. "The Black Influence howed, is afterwards?" He had to know what had become of this West Emperor, as a crazy scenario was already making its way into his mind regarding his R2 robot…

"He become more and more strong and big" D told him, lifting his hands to illustrate his point. He suddenly dropped them back down to his knees. "Lost his power afterwards. Afterwards, he died."

So, the Reach the Man who manned his airship couldn't possibly be the Emperor. Of course, Allah knew that it was ridiculously unlikely, but it still hurt to hear his hopes crushed like that. Then again, perhaps they weren't crushed after all. If this 'Reach the Man' could learn the powers of the Original Dint, then he could too, mentor or no mentor. He eagerly listened on.

"In fact" D continued, "he teaches own the whole skills all to disciple." So the secrets of the Dint weren't entirely dead, then. Now, brimming with renewed hope that he could find this disciple, Allah listened expectantly to the last few lines of the tragedy.

"Then" D said dramatically. "His land killed him, to let him going to bed." He shook his head. "Satirizing, the meaning is. He can let other people. But is incapable for the Dint to the oneself."

There were a million questions Allah wanted to ask, but there was one that was important above all others. The one question that would determine his actions from this point onwards. "I can be, then… Academic Association this kind of magic?"

D gave one final chuckle, and stared Allah directly in the eyes.

"Do not do the Hopeless Situation Elder can."


	11. Chapter 11

Light years from the performance house in which D was giving Allah Gold his advice, Vanquish Is stepped out of an airship on the planet of Kashyyyk. The world of the Wookiees, strong, hairy creatures famous for their engineering skill and their undying loyalty to the Gram Republic. And, right now, that last part had resulted in a brutal attack by the forces of the Abruption Doctrine. It was for this reason that Vanquish Is had taken a large force of troopseses, the famous elite of the clone army, to protect the planet. Though some of them seemed to have forgotten the side they were fighting on.

"We are Republicans, soldier!" a sergeant yelled at one such confused clone as the troopseses set up their defensive positions on the beach. From a high vantage point in a Wookiee hut, Vanquish settled into a chair to convene with the Presbyterian Church. Behind him, the hulking Wookiee warrior Drag Along stood watch along with the clone Commanding Officer assigned to Vanquish.

Ki-Adi-Mundi's holo-telephone form looked around the meeting room. "The Space General hasn't appeared" he observed dryly.

Allah Gold coughed. Everyone turned to look at him. He handed Text How Big the information he had received from D earlier. "This information expresses the Space General" he said.

Vanquish smiled. Even though he would be unavailable to capture the Space General personally, it was still good that progress was being made towards finding him. "I can attain" he told the Presbyterian Church. "I must. Hold tight the Space General, and then, can end war. We must be fast to hold tight him accurately."

Murmuring from the Presbyterians. Many Hopeless Situation Warriors would have preferred to kill the Space General, especially given how lethal he was and how any attempt to 'hold tight' to him would likely end in failure, but Vanquish always preferred to look for the peaceful solutions when necessary. It didn't really matter here, though; the only other business the Presbyterians had to worry about now was the matter of who to send after the General.

"Speaker…" Allah said slowly, "the decision… lets me, coming forward."

Everyone frowned at him. If Allah wanted to be granted the title, he was going about it a very odd way. The Speaker may be the leader of the Gram Republic, and there were certain demands he could make of the Presbyterian Church, but tactical decisions such as which Hopeless Situation Warriors were sent on which missions was not one of those demands.

"Parliament would oneself decide who to send to go to" Text How Big reminded the young Warrior. "Speaker, the decision was not."

"But the Gold even has experience" Vanquish pointed out, "of…" he trailed off. He wasn't sure exactly where he had been going with that. Certainly Allah Gold had much experience in the art of warfare, but on a closer reflection, he realised that none of it had been against Space General. Indeed, the two had never met until the D's kidnapping mere days ago. There was another Hopeless Situation Warrior in the Church with a much better track record. Ki-Adi-Mundi was the first among them to voice such an idea.

"I think the Card Ratio can go to" he suggested, gesturing to Ratio Tile.

Vanquish nodded thoughtfully. "I agree."

The rest of the Presbyterian Church murmured their assent. All except Allah, who appeared withdrawn, annoyed about yet another rejection. Vanquish took note of it, but no one else seemed to notice.

"Very good" Text said. "Parliament, sir." The holo-telephone fizzled out, and Vanquish pulled himself from his chair, walking over to survey the beach. The troopseses and the Wookiees had coordinated their battle strategy well, and a huge force now stood between the Abduction Doctrine and possession of this beachhead.

Vanquish's Commanding Officer came over and crouched next to his diminutive superior. "We are already" he told him. "The whole, to, is ready."

Vanquish nodded at him, then idly checked his watch as the sea in the distance began to froth and churn. "The current time arrived, Commanding Officer."

Hopeless Situation Warriors were known to be philosophical at the best of times, even about things that seemed obvious. Accepting this at face value hadn't exactly been part of the rigorous training the clones had received on Camino, but nonetheless many of them had picked up such a skill over the long years of war. So it was without question that Commanding Officer replied "Yes, master."

Vanquish's comment about the time reminded him of something. Checking his own mission clock, Commanding Officer now saw that it was less than a day until the clock timer ran out, until his secondary orders were put into action. These orders were not something the Hopeless Situation Warriors knew about. Every clone learned from birth that their whole lives were leading to this one moment, the moment when 'time was up'.

And personally, Commanding Officer was looking forward to it.


	12. Chapter 12

On Coruscant, the final preparations were being made before the hunt for the Space General. Huge airships were being loaded with another force of troopseses. Combined with those sent to Kashyyyk, they represented the largest deployment of troopseses the Gram Republic had ever made at any one time. The Presbyterian Church had said that they were going to end the war, and they intended to make good on that promise.

Allah Gold and Ratio Tile were walking down to the gantry where Ratio's airship was waiting. Allah was still rather sore about the earlier meeting with the Presbyterian Church.

"They will need still finally me" he insisted to his teacher.

"I agree" Ratio told him. This wasn't entirely a lie. Space General was a very dangerous cyborg, and Allah and Ratio had always worked as a team. Their chance of winning would be much greater if they were to fight him together, particularly since Space General had never fought Allah personally before and might be blindsided. But keeping Allah on Coruscant was essential if he was to play his part in exposing D. So Ratio did his best to placate him. "Ignore at the beginning, noisy how. The result is always like this."

Allah sighed and looked at the ground. "Master, I let you disappointing" he said, sounding less like a Hopeless Situation Warrior and more like a guilty schoolboy. "I feel grateful you very much to my cultivation." Not the word Ratio would have used, but it fit well enough, he supposed. "I always eyes inside no man. I apologize to you. I was just made by the Presbyterian Church…" he trailed off, searching for a word to express his misgivings.

Ratio smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. "You are very strong" he told his student. "Very astute. I feel the pride. You still a child's time, I did your teacher."

He hadn't meant to mention that. He was referring to Qui-Gon Jinn, his own teacher who had been poised to become Allah's before his untimely death. Noticing the confused and somewhat disgusted expression on Allah's face, he quickly moved on. "I learn the whole life to all to teach to you. And you also became greater than what I hope. But you want the patience, Allah Gold. Very quick, Presbyterian Church will award your."

Allah was still unhappy with the arrangement, but he nodded and gave his teacher a small smile. Ratio nodded and turned to leave.

"Ratio Tile" Allah said suddenly. "The Wish Power are together with you."

Ratio turned back, smiled broadly and shook Allah's hand. "Saw again, my friend. The Wish Power are together with you at."

So saying, he released his grip and walked aboard the airship. Allah watched him go, then turned to head back to the Hopeless Situation Temple. The airship took off.

As the airship hurtled towards the Space General's hidden planet, Ratio met with his troopseses for a strategy session. Leading them was Commanding Officer Section, an officer Ratio had served with on many campaigns in the past. Section greeted his General with a nod, then returned his attention to a map of the Pimping Mainland, the designation for the area of the planet Space General was in.

"Unfortunate of" he barked as soon as Ratio had taken a seat. "Is great majority city all on the Pimping Mainland in this area."

This was a big problem. One of Space General's classic tactics. Hide in an innocent civilian population to avoid your enemy sending airships to just bomb you out. This would have to be handled a good deal more subtly. A job for a Hopeless Situation Warrior, not an airship fleet. Ratio stood up to better address the troopseses.

"At you" he said, directing his words at Section but making sure to speak loud enough for the rest of the assembled men to hear. "Before arriving, I will have been leading." A dangerous strategy, to be sure. Going in ahead of the troopseses would mean Ratio would be cut off from the Gram Republic without support on a planet full of robots who wished him harm. One might almost call it a hopeless situation.

"But you did not drag along too long" Ratio reminded the troopseses. Section's soldiers had picked up quite a reputation for arriving just at the right time. Doing so at the Pimping Mainland would be crucial to a Gram Republic victory.

Section grinned, a rare show from the usually-professional Commanding Officer. "You trust, we let you disappointing never" he told the Hopeless Situation Warrior.

Ratio chuckled and nodded. "That liked too. Only wish before you arrive." He gave the troopseses one final warning: "We did not exterminate all enemies." In a situation like this, being trigger-happy would only result in the death of civilians. It was better to be cautious even if it meant leaving some robots standing. As long as the Space General went down, it wouldn't matter.

Ratio dismissed his troopseses, then headed to the hanger, where a small, one-man airship was already waiting for him. Within half an hour, he was speeding towards the Pimping Mainland.


	13. Chapter 13

Allah watched helplessly as Plum screamed in pain again. It was worse than last time. Tears rolled down her beautiful face as she cried out in an agony that nothing Allah did would stop.

Ratio was there too this time, holding Plum's hand in his own as he tried to comfort her. "Keep your energy!" he urged. "Do not abandon forever!"

But Ratio's encouragement was to no avail. Allah tried to avert his eyes, but couldn't help but watch as his beloved Plum screamed once more, then died.

He snapped awake. He was sitting on a sofa in Plum's house. Plum herself was walking past him holding a bowl of fruit, which she set on the table.

"Ratio…" Allah muttered to himself. Plum gave him a questioning look. "The Tile comes here" he said. It wasn't an enquiry. He could sense that his teacher had been into the house recently. Plum nodded.

"Come this morning" she told him. "Come" she repeated, just to be clear.

"He… how?" Allah asked, getting up. Plum frowned at him. She could see something in his face. He had always spoken so highly of his teacher before.

"He is worrying you?" she asked, as the two walked towards the house's bedroom. "He… says you bear the very big pressure. Certainly."

Allah sighed. "I feel to be fond of the…" he searched for the words. "Very much…"

"Fan?" Concern was evident in Plum's voice. "What mean?"

Her question was enough to open the floodgates, and all of Allah's resentment to the Hopeless Situation Warriors came tumbling out. "Ratio Tile with Presbyterian Church, all distrust!" he blurted.

Plum took his hand comfortingly. "They use their life, letter term you" she reminded him. Allah shook his head.

"Some matters took place. I can not become the hopeless situation that… I do not want… that just keeps present condition."

Allah's voice was low, and he refused to meet Plum's eyes as he said this.

"You are too high to own expectation value" she told him.

Allah knew she was right, but it didn't make him feel any better. The two sat there for a minute in silence, before Allah brought up the other thing that was troubling him.

"I…" he began slowly, "found out how to save your method."

"Save me?" Plum asked curiously. Allah opened his mouth to explain, then thought better of it. He wanted her to know that she was safe, that he could stop her from dying, but something told him that she'd disapprove of the idea of using the Black Influence for such a goal. Plum wasn't a Hopeless Situation Warrior, but she was connected to them closely enough to know how the average Hopeless Situation Warrior felt about the Black Influence and the West.

"I saved you in an evil-foreboding dream" he lied.

Plum shook her head. "Having what lets you, vexed heart-" she began.

Allah suddenly pulled her into an embrace. "I do not want to lose you, The Gets The Rice" he told her. Her eyes widened. The Gets The Rice was a very personal nickname for her, and Allah wouldn't have used it unless he was seriously worried. She accepted the embrace.

"I guarantee" she whispered. "Die me, to also will feel happy with you together."

Allah shook his head, tears brimming in his eyes. "Not" he replied. "Let I to guarantee."

Half a galaxy away from this touching scene, an airship swooped into the System Of. The tiny vessel carried its singular occupant and his airship robot through the air to land gracefully on a small landing platform in the Pimping Mainland. Hidden within the shadows of the Mainland's buildings, a squad of battle robots watched the airship touch down.

A tall Pimping Mainland native by the name of Tion Medon strode up to the airship, ready to greet its pilot. The airship's hatch opened, and Ratio Tile climbed out. Medon placed a hand on his chest.

"Please accept my salute, great Hopeless Situation" Medon said graciously. "Is what breeze blow you? We, this faraway place?"

Ratio gave the man an apologetic smile. "Very unfortunate, because of war" he told him. Medon's welcoming smile vanished instantly.

"Unless you take to come over" he said slowly, trying to gauge Ratio's reaction. "Can't have the war here."

Which was perfectly true. Legal agreements concerning the area had stated in no uncertain terms that no war was allowed anywhere near the Pimping Mainland. Unfortunately, with the new heights the war was reaching, the Space General had lost interest in rules and regulations. Medon could only hope that this Hopeless Situation Warrior would be equally willing to bend a law or two to help them.

"I want to ask you to grant can" Ratio began. Medon frowned. This wasn't what he had hoped. Nonetheless, he waved forward an assistant, who handed the Hopeless Situation Warrior a can. Ratio smiled and pocketed it. "Let us get the some fuel" he continued. "Then, for matching with the Space, in not the General, I want to regard as your city to our base."

Such eloquence! Clearly a man of the highest culture. But culture was not what Medon needed at present. He snapped his fingers, directing his assistants to refuel Ratio's airship. As they did that, he stepped forward so he could whisper his next words to the Hopeless Situation Warrior.

"Here we follows!" he said urgently. "Hostage, just like someone is keeping watch on us!" He risked a glance back towards the buildings, where the battle robots waited.

"I am complete understand" Ratio assured him. Relief flooded through Medon.

"Only have a little bit" he warned the Warrior. "The immodesty…" he shuddered, "we _all_ lose."

"Tell your people to seek the refuge shelter quickly" Ratio told him. "If you have the warrior, kill the time of the arrived."

Medon nodded gratefully and, pulling out a holographic pad, deleted the time of Ratio's arrival from the Pimping Mainland's records. He then stepped back and bowed to Ratio, who climbed back into his airship. Satisfied, the watching battle robots walked away.

Ratio spoke to his airship robot. "Please, carry out right away my order" he told it. "Tell the Section I have contacted good."

The robot beeped an affirmative. Ratio slipped away, hiding behind one of the fuel tanks as Medon's assistants finished their work. Ratio's robot lifted the airship into the sky and flew off, back to Section's waiting fleet. By the time it was out of sight, Ratio was already sneaking through the Pimping Mainland's streets.

Medon stood by the side of the landing pad, watching the airship go. One of his assistants glanced at him. "He has to say that he…?" he asked expectantly.

"Have, how much warriors did" Medon told him. The assistant nodded, and rushed off to prepare the Pimping Mainland for the battle of the century.


End file.
